BIG ULTRASOUND

Today was an exciting day. I couldn't wait for my dr apt. The clock was my constant friend today. Daddy, your siblings, and I loaded up and headed to the dr's. The weather was strange today. It was cloudy and windy and then the sun would come out for just a bit and then disappear.

Arrived at the dr's office and Grandma (Sue) was there. I could barely wait until they called my name. The ultrasound tech was really sweet. We told her right away that we wanted to find out the gender. She asked me what I thought. I said girl but kinda doubted myself this past week. She laughed and said a mother's intuition is usually right. Most techs do all the other stuff first and gender last or in the middle. It wasn't but 2 minutes and she said "IT'S A GIRL" you were right, mommy. She then showed us your girly parts. I was worried that you might make us wait and not show us your stuff. LOL

Then she measured and look at others things. We saw and heard your heart beat at 159 bpm. We saw your feet, toes, legs, arms, hand, fingers, and spine. Your legs were crossed and the tech laughed and said your were already a lady. She tried to get your profile of your face but you wouldn't cooperate. She tried everything. The closest we got was a side with your ear and the back with your hand. Oh, dear is this proof you will be a stinker early on or a shy one?

The hematoma shrunk some which is good news. It went from a 5cm to a 3.5 cm. I was hoping it was gone altogether. Because I haven't spotted for 2 weeks. Other news was that I have a low lying placenta which is new for me. I didn't experience this with your siblings. So it is something that has to be watched. It can move which we are praying it does. It has to be at least 2.5 for a vaginal delivery. I really don't want a c-section. Dr Cote said there is still plenty of time for it to move. So on a good note, I get another peek at you in 4 weeks at the next apt I get another ultrasound.

I asked Micah how he felt about another sister. He gave a big smile and said he knew from the very beginning it was a girl. He said he was glad because, Julia will have a sister to play with. Then he said, "God answered our prayers." Caleb said he was a little sad because he thought Julia should have a baby brother too. However, he was a little happy too. Julia just kept saying baby over and over again.

I thought you were a girl just because I felt really nauseated like I did with your sister. And I craved junk food at the beginning. With your brothers, I craved healthy things. Too funny

So excited we can call you by name instead of just baby.
"ANNA "

Your middle name is still being worked on. I will post the story about your first name later.
After the dr apt we went Olive Garden and it was delicious. We ate there after your sister's ultrasound too. LOL

New Revelation

So yesterday it just hit me. I can't be in the constant state of worry. It isn't good for me or the baby. With Caleb I had a stressful pregnancy and he had major acid reflux and was a high needs baby. I don't want that again.

This is my last pregnancy so I NEED to enjoy it and not think of the what ifs. I decided that I need to let go and let God. I will enjoy each day and learn to be excited like my other pregnancies. If a bad time comes then I will handle it with the help of God, my family and my friends.

I am really excited about the ultrasound and keep counting down the days.

Up and then down

So yesterday I had another dr appointment that went well. Did the routine stuff-weight, urine sample, blood pressure, and listen to baby's heart beat. He kept me on all the restrictions until the "BIG" ultrasound which is scheduled for April 27th (I'll be 19 wks). I was excited about that because normally my dr likes to wait until 20 wks for it. Yeah, I know its only a week but 7 days less of waiting LOL

I have been feeling better and have had more energy which is nice. Spotting has slowed down and I thought I was almost done with it. BIG NOPE. However, I do get a break here and there. 3 days nothing and then heavy and then 2 days nothing and then spotting again. As I have read and heard, its a normal thing for the hematoma. I just like when I have nothing b/c then I seem not to worry as much.

Any time my stomach hurts I get nervous and sometimes its probably just stretching and growing. Today I am really sore and I just am trying to relax and think positive. It doesn't help that one of Jeremy's close co-worker's wife lost her baby this week and she was due in September too.

Last night, I had a nightmare about birth and the NICU. I couldn't go back to sleep. So today I am tired and I think overly hormonal. The cloudy , rainy weather doesn't help either. Each day I take one step at a time and thank the Lord when the day is done. Just as each week passes, I think, "Whew! I made it through and onto the next week".

I am excited and nervous about the ultrasound and can't believe its almost here.

Flutters

I think I have felt little flutters this week. It started on Sunday. Once or twice a day I think its you that I feel. Its great to know that you are moving. Also I am starting to get a noticeable belly. I NEED to take a picture and can hardly believe I haven't taken one yet. Shame on mommy.

Spot here and spot there, here a spot there a spot

So a little over a week has passed and I am still spotting. UGH, being pregnant you are suppose to get a break from pads and panty liners. Most days are light and I even had 2 days with no spotting. I thought I was done. However, after that I had 2 heavy days of spotting. Luckily it has been burgundy or brown blood. But I hate seeing it.

My doppler arrived yesterday! YIPPEE!!! So I have been able to check your heart beat which is awesome. Funny story-I was trying out the doppler for the first time and couldn't find you. Then Julia took over and found your heart beat right away. It is so great to hear it every day.

I have been really tired lately, so I think I might have my iron and thyroid checked again. I am tired of not being able to do everything to. It drives me nuts to have the floor not vacuumed every other day. I feel like I am a bother to everyone especially daddy.

I am trying to stay positive but some days its hard. I love you dearly and want you but I feel guilty when I can't carry your sister or do tons of things with your brothers. I just wanted my last pregnancy to be careful and wonderful. It has been stressful at times and I don't think I will be at peace until you are born close to your due date and in my arms -safe.

Miscarrying and pre-term labor are always in the back of my mind. I want you more than anything my sweet baby.

March 18th-rented a doppler

So since I was spotting, I decided I needed some reassurance. I spoke with some friends and did some internet research. I realized a doppler is what I needed. I went with renting because I hope in time I won't need it once you start kicking and I know you are okay.

I went with Stork Radio and just have to wait to get it.

Forgot to mention-I had to start wearing maternity pants.

March 16th-follow up dr visit

Grandma (my mom) and Aunt Amy (my sister) went to the apt with me. Dr Cote was very caring and answered some questions I had. He said we would watch things and go from there. The hematoma could go away on its own or stay around the whole pregnancy. He talked about the risks but then said well nothing could go wrong. I had some restrictions, no exercise, no lifting over 10 pounds (boy, is that hard to follow), and pelvic rest. He told me spotting could continue. It was a 50/50 deal. Weighed in at 104 and your heart rate was 169 bpm. And that's when the power went out. LOL It was out all the way to our house and was out for 3 hrs.

At night I googled hematoma in pregnancy and yikes most of the stories were all bad. I asked for prayers and then heard a couple of friend's positive stories.